Indeed it is, I thought to myself during a recent urge to re-watch the whole Game of Thrones series. Indeed it is. For such an elementary statement it sure does say a lot. Every where we look and in some cases don’t look, there is possibility. Some come by way of things we didn’t choose, and some by ways we did. Either way, life is full of possibilities.
At the beginning of this week I felt like pure poo. Today I feel amazing. And in between those two moments I discovered that Tyrion was right, as he almost always is, and life is indeed full of possibilities.
Now Tyrion was saying the above statement in return to his crazy, incestuous sister who after her lover/brother pushed a child out of a window, thought that killing the child would be more merciful than letting him linger in a coma or living life a “cripple.” Let me make sure this is clear, we are not in that extreme of a situation here. Number one, my post has nothing to do with death, only the last five words, “life is full of possibilities.” Number two, nobody I know, or at least I hope nobody I know would aim to kill children in an effort to keep their foul relationship a secret. Speaking of said foul relationship, this leads us to number three, brothers are fun, but not my idea of a candidate for those kind of “relations.”
Just one more before I move on. These incest-y memes are too fun…
Alright. I’ve gotten a little off subject. I do that from time to time.
The potential, the possibility for something better is almost always right there within our reach. In my case this week was filled with possibilities to discover a better perspective, a better attitude, a better understanding, and as a result of all of that, a better self.
After a post about body image which included a side-by-side photo of me at my heaviest 5 years ago and a photo of me now, I was floored at the response. My page stats show over 3,500 people viewing that post from all over the world. Australia, Brazil, France, Greece, Taiwan, Canada, Pakistan, Guatemala…how cool is that!?
I think I was more floored by the shift that post gave me in perspective. I started that post feeling so heavy both mentally and physically. I ended that post feeling really happy and proud of the progress I had made. So happy that it almost made me change the post and the tone of it. But then, I remembered that I’ve always told myself to be honest and real. To write with so much honesty that others who might struggle with the same things see that they are not alone. So I left it as it was. And each time I came back to look at the picture or to read the large amount of encouraging and supportive comments, my perspective shifted a little more. I accept the big girl label because while I am “bigger” girl I really do like the shape, the athletic tone my body is taking on. It’s still a work in progress but, as someone said in a comment, “You are not where you were; you’re not where you want to be, but you are working hard to get there.”
New perspective always leads to new possibilities.
The better perspective just naturally pushed me to a better attitude. I can mope around and be frustrated that I am not at my goal weight yet and that I am technically still a big girl, or I can be proud of what I have accomplished so far. I am strong. I am healthy. I eat well. I am active. I have a source of exercise that I love and grow so much through. I can continue to work on the things I want to change. And, I can accept that I will most likely never have a small body frame. Thick thighs and a big booty are just how I am built and I’m cool with that. I like having curves. I accept me as I am and as I continue towards my goals.
New attitude always leads to new possibilities.
A better understanding is definitely something I found this week. The Instagram page that I talked about is a celebration of an under represented group of women in the BJJ community. I didn’t realize how deep that celebration and support and community was with this particular page. I don’t think people understand how hard it is to be overweight or larger and walk out on those mats. I know we all face our own unique setbacks and fears and such, but I can tell you from my experience it’s not easy being the biggest girl on the mats. My husband started BJJ two months before me because I kept telling myself that I would start after I had lost more weight. It’s very easy to let your weight hold you back from doing the things you want to do, the things that you should do. It’s very easy to tell yourself that because you aren’t smaller you don’t belong there and if you’re a headcase like me you tell yourself that nobody wants you there or will want to roll with you because you are bigger. Since my post I’ve talked with the woman who started the page and I was instantly in admiration of her and the community she has brought together. It didn’t take me long to see that I was trying to run from the truth that I am a bigger girl when I should have been embracing this group that I can relate to so much. I am honored to belong to this group of women. They are strong, courageous, beautiful, badass women and I think I can learn a lot from them.
New understanding always leads to new possibilities.
I feel like a completely different person than I was at the beginning of this week. That’s one of the things that I have learned to love about vulnerability. It’s always hard to tell these truths about yourself. To tear down your walls and let people see the real, and in my case, often times insane person that you are. So many times I think, “Dammit Allison, you are sharing too much.” But, the thing is that when you put yourself out there in honest ways, you always learn something new whether it’s through reflection, the therapeutic release of pouring your thoughts out, finding others that can relate to you and sharing their truths and struggles too, or people that can show you that what you see about yourself isn’t always what others see. It’s eye opening and can be life changing.
Life is full of possibilities and we can choose to get stuck in our own heads and ignore them or we can choose to be open to change, open to new perspectives, grab the opportunities where we can, and live our best life possible. That’s my life advice for today.
Oh, and don’t have sex with a sibling. It’s gross.