I told myself that I wouldn’t roll this week so my arm could heal. But, when class turned into open gym and my husband put on the peer pressure, I caved and went for it. I’m glad I did. My arm held up great and didn’t bother me at all.
I had a great night.
Man, I love it when my posts start out with that sentence. It almost gives me the same feelings of excitement and electricity I used to get when I would watch Dexter and the episode would start off with those chilling lines, “Tonight’s the night…”
It’s interesting how a great night in BJJ can be. How to someone just observing from an outside perspective can see something totally different. In jiu-jitsu you definitely can’t judge a book by it’s cover. If someone would have been watching me last night they would have seen me get my ass handed to me several times over.
“WTF, Allison. How is getting your ass kicked a good night?”
Because jiu-jitsu. Dumbass.
I didn’t get a single submission. Hell, I didn’t even get close. But, you know, the further you get into jiu-jitsu the more you realize that it’s not always about the submission. There are so many other ways to get those victories.
I love those victories.
Victory #1 – surviving through some pretty gnarly chokes. Not giving up and tapping when it got tough and painful. One choke in particular I was stuck in for a long time but I had a hand relieving some of the pressure and I could feel myself slipping out of it in tiny, tiny little increments. I wish I could have seen timer to know how long I was stuck in that choke. Little by little the pressure moved to my jaw, then my ears, and holy shit, I wanted to tap so bad at a few points.
I refused, not because of ego, but because I really want to be able to handle those uncomfortable moments. To work on pushing pain aside and using patience and persistence to get out of those sticky situations. Especially if I’m going to compete.
Victory #2 – was really trying to concentrate on keeping my elbows in and my hands protecting my neck in certain situations. I can be really, really bad about shooting my arms out and handing people the perfect opportunity to snatch ‘em up. It made a huge difference, protecting myself in that way. I survived a lot of situations that had I used my old, inexperienced methods, I would have been screwed.
Victory #3 – last week in the fundamentals class we were going over side control escapes. One of my favorite things we learned was such a simple move but one I was really excited to use.
I get caught often when someone is trying to get in side control and I am pushing and bracing against their legs. My arms get attacked a lot because they are stretched out and vulnerable. The simple move we learned was as they were coming in, abort the arms out bracing option, get the underhook, and get to your knees. I got to work on this so many times last night and while I didn’t get it all the time, I had success with it a lot. It really saved me from getting laid out a few times. It’s a move I know I will use often and I’m excited to work on it more.
Victory #4 – this one was probably the biggest. My last roll of the night was tough. I got smashed and stuck in side control and crushed and I tapped several times due to just pressure. There was a tiny little moment after the third or fourth time I tapped that I started to get a little frustrated. Seriously, a millisecond of a moment were I let the defeat set in.
It’s funny how the tiniest moment and the biggest physical defeat can hold the biggest victory. It was a victory over myself. In previous moments of frustration, I let it completely defeat me and I would kind of give up for that night.
In that millisecond last night I basically gave myself a mental bitch slap and said, “Knock it off, Allison.” I told myself, you are here to learn. To get better. And, if you want to get better you have to be challenged. I got stuck in side control so many times and I started looking at it as an opportunity to work those side control escapes, to figure out why I’m getting stuck in that position, and seeing what works and what doesn’t. It was also an opportunity to try to relax and deal with the pressure. I didn’t have much success in any of those areas, but in terms of defeat and frustration, I felt strong. Stronger than I’ve ever been.
The other added bonus was that this guy didn’t go easy on me. I appreciated that more than a lot of people will understand. I feel like I learned a lot from that roll because of that.
There may be some pretty rough moments in jiu-jitsu. It’s by far the most challenging thing I’ve ever done. There are moments that, to put it nicely, really suck. But, let me tell you, the victories, they produce a feeling within that I’m positive nothing in this world can match.